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  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  PROLOGUE 5

  NOT MY LIFE 8

  SALVATION 12

  THE JURNEY BEGINS 1

  DESIRE 25

  AWAKENING 44

  MATE!!! 46

  VERITAS 59

  ADELPHI 64

  SELENE 69

  THE TRUTH 74

  CRIMSON IS THE KEY 80

  ARRIVAL 87

  THE KEY 93

  PURPOSE 98

  ALMOST THERE 102

  A CELESTIAL GUARDIAN ERUPTION 105

  CRIMSON 110

  HERE 114

  A NEW BEGINNING 116

  SPIRITS 127

  THE GODDESS 140

  RAGE OF A GUARDIAN 146

  DETERMINATION 151

  LOYALTY AND DEVOTION 153

  HIDDEN HISTORY 163

  NEW BONDS 166

  RANDALL’S RESPECT 169

  I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU 172

  FAMILY 177

  THE BET 182

  SEER ALEJANDRO 186

  THE WULF WITHIN 192

  THE POOLS 199

  WOLVES? 205

  LOST NOW FOUND 209

  HEALING HEARTS 217

  HIDDEN MATE 223

  TOTI 235

  A HOME 255

  RETURN GUARDIAN RETURN 263

  OSHUN’S GIFT 277

  DEADLY RECEPTION 289

  LIGHTNING DEATH BETA 296

  FOREBODING 310

  THE GODDESS OYA 316

  (Mini story) UPSIDE DOWN VALENTINES 321

  PRELUDE 330

  Copyright © 2019 by Alexi Maisonette

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  PROLOGUE

  Cold seeps into my bones as I wander the dark forest before me; the frigid air from the mountains surrounding me in a tight, chilling embrace. Shadows dance across the ground, as the light of the moon shines downward through the swaying treetops. Leaves and sticks crunch beneath my feet as I continue to wander forward. I hike up a slight slope to my right. My mind is numb, confused, anxious. What is this place? Where am I going? How did I get here?

  Ascending the slope, the trees seem to fall away, revealing a small meadow. Moonlight reflects off the dew of the grass, creating a soft silver glow. In the distance, I see a small circle, made of what appears to be field stones. Within its center, two pillars rise tall and resolute; weathered with age and covered in foliage of oranges and greens. I know this place. Yet, I don't know about this place. A sense of coming home blended with deep trepidation and fear spreads throughout my being.

  My body continues forward against my will, leading me towards the center pillars. The sudden scent of pine, moss and. . . cedar. . . sets my mind at ease; its intoxicating fragrance fills my nostrils. “Closer” a whisper fills my mind. “Closer. Do not fear lost one. Closer.” That voice? I know that voice but from where?

  I continue forward and enter the circle. A sound like the ringing of a single gong penetrates the air as I cross the threshold. Warmth spreads through my body as the frigid air suddenly dissipates. What the fuck? I murmur to myself. Moonlight shifts from above and congeals into a single beam that fills the space between the two pillars. Electricity crackles throughout the air. A vortex of swirling light emerges into a sphere of whirling silver, my face gazing back at me as I stand before it. Enamored by my reflection, I stare at the man before me. He is familiar, yet not familiar. He is me, yet not me. The man before me is whole, complete; wisdom and knowledge fill his eyes. “Remember” he whispers. “Remember”.

  But I can't remember. My mind is blank. I clutch my head in my hands as a stabbing pain pierces my skull. “Who am I?” I shout back. “Why can't I remember?! What is this place? Who are you?!” Tears fill my eyes, I crumble to my knees; my face cradled within my hands. Lifting my head towards the sky, I scream; the agony and desperation of my soul echoes back throughout the woods. Taunting. Always taunting. Lowering my head, my gaze anchors upon the silver vortex; the man -- my reflection -- stares back at me. “Remember.”

  A rustling of leaves and the cracking of twigs behind me grabs my attention. Turning, I see within the shadows a large wulf. His gaze piercing, his gait steady, confident, as he approaches me. I lift my hands in surrender as I cower at his enormous size. Then, without warning. . . I wake up. The beeping of the machine next to me, along with the sterile scent of rubbing alcohol, and the bars upon my bed, remind me I'm in the hospital; recovering from an accident of which I still don't remember. Amnesia the doctor says. With time, my memories will return. Could be days. Could be months. Could be years. Until then, I won't know who I am. Fucking fantastic.

  Dr. Bledsoe, my attending physician, stopped by a few moments every day while making his rounds. At 5’11”, with chestnut hair, hazel eyes and a solid build that showed he takes care of himself; he was a welcome distraction. Randall seemed to think so also.

  “Child, I’mma knock my head against a rock if he’ll be my doctor. Hells yeah. Move over beyotch, it’s my turn for a sponge bath.”

  Before I had a chance to respond, Carmen’s hand seemed to materialize out of nowhere as she whacked him behind the head. Randall looked like a chastised dog as he nodded repeatedly to her speech about being respectful. I did my best to hide my chuckle by taking slow sips of water. With a sly grin and a slight blush, Dr. Bledsoe addressed us. “Well Mr. Maisonet, you have recuperated nicely. The swelling on your brain has subsided and your vitals have stabilised. Aside from your apparent memory loss, I’d say you are ready for discharge.” After scribbling a few signatures in my patient chart, he nodded and smiled at me, while winking at Randall on the way out. A few hours later, Randall was pushing me in a wheelchair as we began to exit the building; after Toti and Carmen reviewed the doctor’s orders and medication management plan with the charge nurse on duty.

  NOT MY LIFE

  In the bathroom mirror, I see a 36 years old Puerto Rican, gay male, with light gray eyes, and caramel complexion. He’s 6'1" & 232 lbs far from being labeled a twink. So being labeled a twink... is out. He’s just a social guy who’s gay. Unlike his brother Randall, he prefers people acquaint with him by his character and NOT flaunt his sexual preference. This being by choice. Further influenced by my profession as a sign language interpreter. It can place me in various work environments such as a prison, or federal correctional facility. Displaying alternative sexual orientation in such places can prove counterproductive. All of this is nice, there's just one thing, gazing at the guy in the mirror, my words go to him “who are you?”

  Of its own will, my left hand reaches, touching the steamy reflection staring back at me that seems to be me. Then I pull it back as if leaving it would bring answers I am not ready for, and towel dry off. Talking to myself "You’re fucking nuts, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE." chuckling I finish toweling myself off.

  Leaving the bathroom, my thought remains on my question. Reflecting on all the conversations I have had with Toti (my mother), brother, and family friend Carmen. It seemed like yesterday but it is not. Having walked into the kitchen one morning a month after being out of the hospital, I overhear a conversation between my mother and brother as I entered. Both givin
g me a smile as Randall stood by the coffee maker, making coffee for us. He remained looking down into the three cups responding to something mom told him.

  His tone expressed concern as he did so. “Mama. Do you think he is ready? Is it wise?”

  “Baby. Things are about to change. Estrella says it is time.”

  Her gaze meets mine. “Hi mijo. Let's talk.” bringing my attention to her.

  According to mom, my physical description would only scratch the surface of who I am. There is more; A-LOT MORE. Supposedly my family are supernatural guardians. Not the type you see depicted in movies either. Some of us are WER's Toti says. Meaning we possess two spirits, one human, the other animal. Both inhabiting one vessel by which they can manifest through a process she calls phasing. According to Toti, when we ‘phase’ one of these joined souls manifests physically through the vessel, while the other remains in astral form. Though I have not seen them shapeshift.

  Randall stands leaning against the counter attentive. Mom tries to hide the deep sigh she took as she came and sat beside me at the kitchen counter. Her body language seemed tense as she spoke “Alejandro What I am about to tell you is the truth of our existence.” It seems, as toti put it. A goddess named Oya. Herself had bestowed me a wulf unique even amongst their kind. The story becomes even more outlandish adding I was born into a pack of gifted wulves bestowed an obligation to defend humans and Celestials from evil supernaturals she calls "Supes". Yea at this point I am thinking "OOOOKAYY. My family are a bunch of KOOKS! No wonder we live out in nowheresville Florida." But I remain respectful listening to her.

  Toti explained my own wulf “Sable” whose name is short for “Sabalius” is himself a Celestial Guardian able to control lightning. With a huff, hearing this I rolled my eyes thinking. “Who in their RIGHT MIND tells this crap to a released traumatized mental case!” Toti smacks the hell out the side of my head, making me duck down with a “HEY!! AMNESIA HERE REMEMBER?!”

  Her response as always is the typical traditional school parenting “Amnesia or NOT! I am YOUR MOTHER RESPETA! (RESPECT!!) Old school mothers ARE DEADLY DISCIPLINARIANS!!

  After correcting my thoughtless disrespect, she continued “Our ancestors aided The goddess, creator of us all in protecting her child from her mate who despised and attempted to kill him. Showing her gratitude for this aid, with the approval of the creator. Oya blessed these chosen few with aspects of her own being. Fire, wind, earth, water, heart, electricity, and the vastness of the constellations themselves.

  Fascinated by the story she wove and not being disrespectful again, I asked “why elements of nature ma?” As she explained, a sensation runs through me. Somehow it gave me the strongest impression, Toti was telling the truth. But it can’t be, can it? Toti gives me a questioning look.

  Looking at my cub I see his disbelief, limiting how much I can say. Alejandro may not believe yet, but in time, he will...... he will. Each portion of her soul the goddess gave to us represents various aspects of life itself. Each wulf an emissary to an Orisha of the Lucumi Pantheon.

  First comes the wulf of the constellations;

  this wulf represents life’s desire to envision. Symbolized by our minds’ ability to create or destroy. An emissary of Obatala, King of the white mantle.

  The second the wulf of fire.

  The passionate life force within all life, infusing it with the strength to come into being and strive forward. An emissary to Chango Orisha of life‘s passion and desire.

  The third is the wulf of wind.

  Represents life forces ability to move either slow and sure. Calculating their next steps or be destruction unparalleled. An emissary of Oya. Orisha of life‘s final step, spiritual elevation.

  The fourth is the wulf of lightning.

  Represented as the initial spark of life and its inevitable transformation into rebirth. It’s will and power to live and become stronger. Or to release oneself and fade. Also emissary of Oya. Her fury as a warrior and independence.

  When I look back at her, it was because she stopped talking. Toti rubs my back reassuring "Hey, I know you think I am crazy mi Hijo (my son) maybe I should stop eh?" Her eyes, the look in Toti's eyes, her tone of voice. This is tearing her up whether or not to continue. She is trying to assess if it is too much for me. Cracking a small smile leaning to her, I rest my head on her shoulder. “No, ma. I want to think your crazy. But I guess I must be also because I feel the truth in your words. I feel like another will is guiding me to listen. I don’t know what to do or understand, but I know I will listen. Even if I don’t accept it ok?” my words heavy as I say them. Ma kisses my forehead, cracks a modest smile patting my palm with her own and replies, “Ok. You sure you want to learn of who we are, and who you are?” her head cocked downwards, her eyes searching up into mine. I nod and just as she is about to continue, my brother chimes in. “Um, excuse me mama gurl.”

  SALVATION

  Both turning our heads to him “Mama, Let me take crazy outside. I think he has had enough big gurl. I got da rest of dis.” looking at him a little stern, toti understands. Then she pats my hands “Your brother is right hijo. Go have some fun.” Kissing my forehead “I will have lunch ready when you both get back.” leaving me sitting there, Toti gets up goes and kisses Randall. “I love BOTH my babies.” Forever witty, Randall says “GURL WE SUM BIG ASS BABIES!” They chuckle as he walks to me, takes my hand “C'mon gurl”

  In some way my big brother sensed I needed a mood change and gives me just that. Following him outside with my coffee in hand. We make ourselves comfortable on the porch steps. With a chuckle then whacking my left shoulder with his right hand he says “GURL! THAT Dr. Bledsoe who was your attending physician, stopping by a few minutes every day while making his rounds. UM, Um, UM, UM. YUMMMYYY!!! Honey At 5’11”, with chestnut hair, hazel eyes and a solid build that shows the man takes care of himself; he was a welcome distraction.!!”At least Randall seemed to think so. Saying

  “Child, I’mma knock my head against a rock if he’ll be my doctor. Hells yeah. YA kno how many times I wanted ta say “Move over beyotch, it’s my turn for a sponge bath.”

  It was at that moment I learned some previous history which toti had explained. I tell him” Girl what I remember is, Carmen’s hand materializing out of nowhere as she whacked you behind the head.” Remembering how Randall looked like a chastised dog as he nodded repeatedly to her speech about being respectful. “Girl WHAT I remember, was doing my best to hide my chuckle by taking slow sips of my water while we waited for my discharge order.”

  He laughs “OHH YEAAA. I forgot about that !” chuckling he leans back then leans forward “ DAMN SHE HITS HARD TOO!!”

  I chuckle my response “Dunno. I don’t get hit ..Remember pity case.”

  His beady eyes look at me with a smirk “Ya lucky bitch. AN-T-WAY. Come On let's walk as I finish tellin ya.”

  Leaving the comfort of the porch we approach and leave through the front gate. Turning right, we walk along the cement pavement towards the main street. From our distance, I see the stores still had not open. Not having to acknowledge people I don't know with a cordial grin and wave, gave me small comfort. I pay attention to him “Go.” I say giving him his cue.

  “The fifth is the wulf of water.

  Like the blood in our veins, this force moves us to continue. To become powerful like the current of a river. Or can become stagnant and never move forward. Capable of motivating life to move forward or destroy itself, wiping it clean to start anew. Emissary to the Orisha Yemaya of the seas and oceans.

  The sixth is the wulf of earth,

  Representing the affirmation within ourselves to gather strength, stand firm, build and achieve what we set our life force too. Emissary to Orisha -oko. God of the earth and mans fertility.

  The seventh is the wulf of spirit,

  Representing the energy our life force uses to achieve what we strive for, unwavering focus and determination. Used positive its potential is a razor sharp tool un
distracted. Used destructive, it is an obsession and chaos. Emissary to known other than Orisa Oggum himself. A warrior of elite fighting prowess.

  As one, the Goddess gave these wulves an oath. To become guardians of all, protecting the thing most sacred to the All-Father, life itself." Staring into my cup of coffee I can say nothing. Randall’s words hit me hard. There was pride of this craziness as he spoke. Just like toti.

  Recalling how her eyes brightened, her shoulders lifted, her voice held a tone of honor. It was easy to see how profound this meant to them. Are they telling the truth? But this can't be. There are no such things as werewolves and supernatural beings. These are tales told back in the days to keep kids safe or make them behave right? I try to put it out of my mind but the more my brother told me the more I hesitated with what I thought has been sanity.

  Continuing along the cement pavement drawing closer to the main avenue. A feeling of trepidation comes with the thought of possibly being forced to play cordial to yet another stranger, I pause in my steps quickly thinking of an excuse to return home. “Hey, let's head back to the house. It’s starting to get humid for this shit.” Giving me a sassy smirk, Randall looks at me, pulls a fan out of his pocket, presses the on button saying “Dat why YA COME PREPARED BITCH!” laughing at me “Well ok little sis. I got you . let’s go back.”

  Turning back to the house, Randall grows quiet while we walk. When I glance to him in curiosity, he seems lost in thought. Staring off to the left admiring the small one family homes with their kept grass. Then turning in my direction right. Catching me glancing at him he says with a quiet tone “Ya kno sis. You will be fine. But. This is who we are baby bro. And no matter WHAT. I will always protect you.” The combination of rising florida heat with its ever brightening sun’s rays. Makes me squint my eyes a little.